Adventure in Phoenix Part II: Emotional Intelligence

Camel back

Camel back mountain

It’s been more than  three weeks since I wrote the first post setting the stage for my EQ (Emotional Intelligence) adventure; exploring the Six Seconds Model. For much of the five days I spent in Phoenix, we were involved in a variety of hands-on activities and exercises as we attempted to “flesh out” EQ concepts.  What follows is my snapshot of EQ as framed by the Six Seconds Model.


The philosophy behind/underpinning the model is described by the following six tenets:

  1. Wisdom comes from within [what is on the inside “in our hearts” is revealed in our lives. Change is from the inside out.]

  2. No way is the way [ Develop your own unique style to grow and change.  Be authentic]

  3. The process is the content [ learn EQ by doing EQ – practice, practice, practice].

  4. 1,2,3 PASTA [jump in. Take risks to learn and grow].

  5. Fish don’t talk about water [ to see, sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone].

  6. Emotions drive people.

The Six Seconds Model. Source:

The Six Seconds Model. Source:

The model describes “EQ-In-Action” and consists of three processes/components.  The three processes are: Know Yourself [The WHAT], Choose Yourself [The HOW], and Give Yourself [The WHY] of EQ.  These processes are activated/lived out via eight competencies [see diagram].  Much can be said about the eight competencies. I have chosen three [one from each process], for some further comments.

You can’t deal with what you don’t recognize or acknowledge. Part of knowing yourself is Recognizing Patterns – those reactions that we default to when the appropriate triggers present themselves. Practicing EQ requires us to explore the feelings, thoughts and actions associated with a particular pattern. We then choose how to bring about positive change, where change is necessary.

A key competency for the “Choose Yourself” process of the model is to Apply Consequential Thinking- weighing the costs and benefits of a particular course of action. Evaluating the costs and benefits of our choices is tied to our overall sense of purpose – our Noble Goal(s) for our life. Pursuing Noble Goals is a key competency of the “Give Yourself” process and represents the foundation for EQ as framed by the Six Seconds Model.  What is the big WHY for our lives that motivates us to want to change and grow, and informs our daily choices? The Six Seconds Model is represented as a circle suggesting that we are continuously going through these three processes as we grow our EQ.

Three takeaways for me from my Phoenix adventure:

  1. EQ is important

  2. EQ is an ongoing journey; an adventure that promises to provide rich rewards of positive change in IMG_1436our personal lives and in our relationships.

  3. In all our learning and growing a key EQ choice is to exercise forgiveness – letting go of the hurts and offences done to us by others. Withholding forgiveness destroys our emotional health and our overall well-being.

For more on EQ visit

Leave a comment. Pass it on. Like on your favorite social media site. Thanks for stopping by.

Cliff {AMDG}


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